You’ve probably wondered about it at least once. You’re sitting on the couch, your cat strolls in, locks eyes with you, and curls up right next to you – ignoring everyone else in the room completely. Coincidence? Hardly. Cats are far more emotionally complex than most people give them credit for, and the signs they leave are everywhere, if you know what to look for.
Cats may not wag their tails or shower you with kisses, but their love runs deep in smaller, softer gestures. From their purrs to their quiet companionship, every act of affection is uniquely feline – thoughtful, reserved, yet full of heart. The truth is, being chosen by a cat isn’t something that happens by accident. It’s earned, recognized, and expressed in ways that are surprisingly scientific. Let’s dive in.
1. Your Cat Follows You From Room to Room
Let’s be real – if a dog follows you around, nobody bats an eye. When a cat does it? That means something. One of the most obvious signs that a cat has chosen you is that they will follow you around. Whether you’re walking to the kitchen or going to bed, your cat will want to be by your side. It’s quiet devotion, wrapped in four paws and a twitching tail.
Cats who are attached to their humans will solicit attention from them by approaching them, often with a tail held straight up, meowing or pawing at them. They also tend to follow their owners from room to room, albeit sometimes at a distance. Purring and head rubbing are other signs that your kitty enjoys your presence. So yes, even that shadowy little figure lurking in the hallway while you brush your teeth is a love letter in disguise.
2. They Slow Blink at You Across the Room
Have you ever caught your cat looking at you and blinking slowly? That’s not boredom – it’s affection. Slow blinking is often called a “cat kiss.” It’s a nonverbal way of showing trust and love. Think of it as the feline equivalent of a warm smile. No words needed. Just that long, languid blink that says everything.
Research suggests slow blinks are associated with a positive emotional state and can be a sign of trust, contentment and affection, similar to a human smile. If you wish to return the compliment, blink and your cat might blink back. This is a nice way to bond with your cat if they aren’t keen on being touched. Try it next time. Honestly, it’s one of the most surprisingly intimate things you can share with a cat.
3. They Headbutt and Rub Against You
When your cat bumps their head against yours or rubs their face on you, they’re doing more than seeking attention – they’re marking you with their scent. This act, known as “bunting,” is one of the most deliberate declarations of ownership a cat can make. You are, in their eyes, officially claimed.
Cats use scent to identify members of their social group or family, by sharing a group scent profile. Cats have scent glands on their flanks, head and around their ears, and often rub their heads against people and objects that are familiar and comforting. So the next time your cat mashes their forehead into your face at 6 a.m., don’t be annoyed. You’ve just been accepted into their inner circle. It’s kind of a big deal.
4. They Choose to Sleep on You or Right Beside You
If your cat chooses to sleep on your bed at night, it’s a strong indication that you are their chosen human. Cats are creatures of comfort and safety, and they will only feel comfortable enough to sleep near someone they trust. Sleep, for a cat, is a deeply vulnerable state. They’re essentially saying: “I trust you with my life – literally.”
Curling up next to you for warmth and protection is a simple sign that your cat likes you. This is especially true when they’re sleeping. If they nap on top of you, take this as a significant reflection of your cat’s affection. As well as you being chosen to keep them safe when they’re most vulnerable, they’re saying “you belong to me” by marking you with their scent. It’s cozy. It’s warm. It’s also one of the highest compliments a cat can pay you.
5. They Groom You With Their Tongue
Cats groom each other, known as allogrooming, as a form of social bonding, so if your cat grooms you too, it’s a sure sign they have chosen you as part of their social circle. Grooming is a bonding experience between cats, and it can also help build trust between you and your cat. Those sandpaper licks on your hand or forehead? Pure, unfiltered love. It’s uncomfortable, sure, but it’s precious.
Grooming only happens between cats with a warm relationship, so licking your hand or face can be a show of endearment, even though those barbed tongues may not feel all that gentle. Just as mother cats will groom their young, cats who are bonded with each other will often groom one another, showing comfort and familial acceptance. If you find your kitty licking you repetitively, you’ve either spilled something delicious on yourself or they see you as a close family member. The odds are, it’s the latter.
6. They Bring You Gifts
A cat dropping a toy – or sometimes an unfortunate insect – at your feet isn’t trying to scare you. It’s actually their way of caring for you. In the wild, cats bring food to their kittens or colony members. At home, this instinct translates into gifting their human companions. I know it sounds crazy, but a dead mouse on your pillow is genuinely meant as a token of deep affection.
If your cat has chosen you as their favorite person, they may also bring you gifts. These “gifts” may be anything from a toy mouse to a dead bird, but they are a sign that your cat sees you as a family member. Of course, you may not appreciate every one of their gifts. If your cat brings you something unpleasant, try not to react in disgust or anger. This can be difficult to do if you’re the squeamish type, but not controlling your reaction may only leave your cat confused. Stay calm. Say thank you. Then quietly dispose of it when they’re not watching.
7. They Vocalize Specifically at You
Intriguingly, cats meow to humans but rarely to other cats. Over time, cats learned that humans tend to respond to meowing sounds and have adapted to use them to communicate with their favorite humans. Think about that for a second. Your cat developed an entirely new communication strategy just to talk to you. That’s commitment.
Trilling, also known as chirping, is the high-pitched, repetitive sound that cats make when they see someone they like and is trusted by them, or when they are feeling content. Trilling may also be an invitation for you to spend some quality time together. Your cat may also vocalize, or meow, a lot when you leave the house and show signs of stress when you’re gone. That’s not separation anxiety in a bad sense. That’s your cat telling the empty room that it misses its person. You.
A Final Thought Worth Keeping
Here’s the thing about cats – they don’t owe anyone their affection. They could live their entire lives in polite, comfortable indifference. A 2017 study found that a majority of both pet and shelter cats preferred interacting with a person over eating food or playing with a toy. That says something profound about the depth of the bond they’re capable of forming.
Cats loving and choosing a favorite human stems from a combination of personality, human-cat communication, routine, and environment. It’s not random. It’s deliberate. When a cat chooses you, it’s because of who you are to them – patient, consistent, present, and safe. When you learn to recognize these signals, you start to see your relationship in a new light. You’re not just a caretaker – you’re their chosen human, their comfort, their world.
So the next time your cat curls up on your lap, stares at you from across the room with those soft slow blinks, or deposits a questionable gift at your feet – take a moment to appreciate it. You’ve been chosen. And if you think about it, that’s no small thing. What was the first moment you realized your cat had truly picked you?
